Out of the shitstorm that has been the Trump presidency thus far emerges a particularly hilarious thread that you probably haven’t heard a lot about. 

Let’s introduce “Jim,” the President’s all-knowing source on the dealings in France. “I have a friend, he’s a very, very substantial guy,” Trump said. “He loves the City of Lights. He loves Paris. For years, every year, during the summer, he would go to Paris. It was automatic, with his wife and his family.” 

The President likes to source Jim when talking about his breadth of knowledge of France (as opposed to, you know, his own intelligence agencies) but nobody really knows who Jim is, nor do they believe he exists. “I hadn’t seen him in a while,” Trump said when recalling a fairly recent conversation with this mysterious character. “And I said, ‘Jim, let me ask you a question: How’s Paris doing.” Jim responded: “Paris? I don’t go there anymore. Paris is no longer Paris.” 

Makes sense. 

Out of all the mysterious figures lurking around the Trump administration, I find myself most fascinated with Jim and why he doesn’t spend his summers vacationing in Paris anymore. That fascination also inspired one YouTuber to brilliantly set the saga of Jim to Phish’s “Runaway Jim.”