Today, we gather to mourn one of the most devastating moments in Phish’s career. A true blow to their legacy and one that leaves me doubtful at what comes next for the Vermont band. 

We are terribly sad to report to you that U2 was awarded the Top Boxscore at the Billboard Touring Awards, besting Phish and Guns N’ Roses.

Phish’s Baker’s Dozen finally revealed its lone flaw, and the towering, 30-minute “Lawn Boy” was washed away by the sweet sounds of “Where the Streets Have No Name.” Edge doesn’t like guitar solos but he sure does like all of the tickets U2 sold on their Joshua Tree 30th anniversary tour. 

Phish will have to dust themselves off and try to piece together what remains, while Bono is surely deep into an oversized bottle of celebratory champagne. Guns N’ Roses were at least made somewhat whole, taking home the “Top Tour/Top Draw” award, also beating out U2 and Coldplay. Phish was left on the outside looking in, like the kid who didn’t get invited to the party instead peering through the window on his way home. 

Let’s remember happier times.